Break It Down, Butch.

October 26, 2010

[44] Your dad’s just human, too, kiddo.

Filed under: Uncategorized — DK @ 23:30
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My brother and his girlfriend just co-called me at ten minutes to midnight to inform me that, while house-sitting for my father, they’d discovered his gentleman’s reading material under the bed.

Seeing as I thought they were calling to tell me one of them had accidentally stabbed the other one in the brain, or something, what with it being midnight, I’m somewhat relieved.

And amused.

Really, really amused.

For a bit of context, my father is a stand-up guy: military-tough, strong, dependable, sweet as all get-out when the mood strikes him–

And, as it turns out, apparently kind of vanilla.

I know it’s something of a theme for butches to aquire the basics of Manly Life Lessons from their dads (it’s up to the butch whether they’re mirroring, or not repeating that shit), but in this case I think I’m just going to laugh and laugh and laugh…


September 23, 2010

[41] Quickie birthday recap.

Filed under: Uncategorized — DK @ 22:04
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Today was my brother’s girlfriend’s 23rd birthday. She’s also one of my best friends, so we all had to celebrate. The three of us went to Alton Towers, which is one of Britain’s big theme parks.

Some of the best quotes of the day:

[On the drive down] “Ooh, look, a crevasse. One of nature’s vaginas.”

“You are a moral cul-de-sac.”

[Four seconds later] “Your face is a moral cul-de-sac.”

[Midway through a rollercoaster ride, in the pitch-black inside section] “ARGH. IT’S ALL MOIST.”

“I wish I could be a lamp-post.”

[One of the ride attendants] “A wasp just stung me! In the head!”

“If you could be any cut of meat, what would you be?”

“Y’know, the only part of that ride that got me wet was when the water jet ricocheted off your face.”

“Quick, everybody look dead!”

“She’s got her panther-face on again.”

“My hoodie is a vision of day-glo neon. It’s also blue.”

“You know, guys, this was an awesome day.” [Reflective pause. Then the brother:] “Your face was an awesome day.”

We had fun. 😀

August 11, 2010

[34] A little thought.

Filed under: Uncategorized — DK @ 21:38
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Sense-memory is a funny thing. I was just making a bowl of Mexican rice for myself; I leaned over, got a faceful of spicy steam and, wham, all I could think of was JB. And, bizarrely, my brother.

That’s not quite as almost-Freudian as it sounds.

JB was the one that introduced me to Mexican food, back when I visited her for the first time in the States. We don’t really get Mexican take-away in Britain, so it was a whole new thing for me. And god almighty, it was good. I’d eat it all day, if I could.

The brother’s the same. He’s gotten into Mexican in a big way in the last few years, and he made it for me recently. (See? Not Freudian at all!)

I’ve never really run into relationship insecurity before — I figure if someone’s picked me, they’ve picked me for a reason, and I try not to doubt that — but I remember having a hell of a moment the first time I introduced the brother to JB. They’re both really similar — lean, attractive, entertaining flashy personalities, great senses of humour, etc. I’m more laid back, body conscious, ironic… And, I’ll admit, when they hit it off so brilliantly, I had a brief moment of irrational fear that they made a much better couple than JB and me. They just clicked.

That lasted about six hours, right up until JB dropped her head on my shoulder and said she was looking forward to my brother going home, because he was exhausting.

I was so relieved, I cracked up. And then explained, because JB was giving me that head-tilted ‘Why are you being insane?’ look. Then she cracked up.

I suppose there’s a moral in there somewhere — trust your loved one; don’t get daft over your siblings; opposites really do attract — but mostly I just enjoy smiling about it now, even though JB and I are no longer dating.

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