Sense-memory is a funny thing. I was just making a bowl of Mexican rice for myself; I leaned over, got a faceful of spicy steam and, wham, all I could think of was JB. And, bizarrely, my brother.
That’s not quite as almost-Freudian as it sounds.
JB was the one that introduced me to Mexican food, back when I visited her for the first time in the States. We don’t really get Mexican take-away in Britain, so it was a whole new thing for me. And god almighty, it was good. I’d eat it all day, if I could.
The brother’s the same. He’s gotten into Mexican in a big way in the last few years, and he made it for me recently. (See? Not Freudian at all!)
I’ve never really run into relationship insecurity before — I figure if someone’s picked me, they’ve picked me for a reason, and I try not to doubt that — but I remember having a hell of a moment the first time I introduced the brother to JB. They’re both really similar — lean, attractive, entertaining flashy personalities, great senses of humour, etc. I’m more laid back, body conscious, ironic… And, I’ll admit, when they hit it off so brilliantly, I had a brief moment of irrational fear that they made a much better couple than JB and me. They just clicked.
That lasted about six hours, right up until JB dropped her head on my shoulder and said she was looking forward to my brother going home, because he was exhausting.
I was so relieved, I cracked up. And then explained, because JB was giving me that head-tilted ‘Why are you being insane?’ look. Then she cracked up.
I suppose there’s a moral in there somewhere — trust your loved one; don’t get daft over your siblings; opposites really do attract — but mostly I just enjoy smiling about it now, even though JB and I are no longer dating.